{london} What they don’t tell you about London Fashion Week… feat. two girls, a Mercedes-Benz G Wag & many many bags of wine gums

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Come behind the scenes of Fashion Week they say…..

Confashion: I’m a sucker for some behind-the-scenes gossip; i hoover those types of articles online and occasionally in print if i’m at the dentist. The premise of those articles never quite matches up to the images. Fashion editors clutching an it-bag no one can buy, staged pics of some grunged up model chomping on an apple, street style looks that took marathon struts to capture – for me there’s just not enough banter, back-fence talk that you wouldn’t expect to hear. Nobody really shares their unfiltered frow-ments – who they’d snog, marry, avoid. Legit no one seems up for committing more than a shoefie in the back of their Mercedes-Benz G Wag…

Until now:

I planted my own thoughts on the gram a while back and the majority of you voted for MORE behind-the-scenes content at LFW. I made a very deliberate decision this year to share only those personal moments on my insta-stories – no runways appeared whatsoever, only fro-fies and the occasional lap selfie. So i decided post-fashion week to try and recollect my experiences by piecing together a diary – a frank and honest one – exposing what I really got up to in ONE day at LFW.

{a lot of clambering upon the G Wag as it turns out}

Here goes

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8:45 AM It’s the first day of London Fashion Week. I’m circling the ME London hotel in search of a parking space  – not quite sure why i drove all the way up from Brighton in my own car when I’ve got a chauffeur for the week but i’ve been non-stop since 4am and not really sure who i even am. Nick my Mercedes chauffeur texts to say he’s spotted a space so I park my car up (eight attempts later) and hop into the back of new AMG home for the next five days – a shiny G-Wag. Nick drives me all of a 100 yards and plants me outside 180 The Strand; we’ve been given the heads up that a Getty photographer is on standby to take my pic so i arrive in style at least. We pull up and I gather my things, quickly exchanging a joke about my parking – he offers to get me some wine-gums and diet coke from the paper shop – at this point I know Nick’s my kind of people.

9:15 AM First event is the LFW launch hosted by Caroline Rush (Chief Exec of BFC) and model Adwoa Aboah. I met Adwoa backstage at Topshop last year – so now I’ve convinced myself we’re best mates. Climbing out the G well aware I’m running a bit late I clock one of my eyelash strips trailing my lapel – I whip on my sunnies as disguise and race to the entrance – friend/blogger Bonnie Rakhit’s taps my shoulder. We link arms and head in together. Bonnie’s a travel writer and just back from Cambodia so I quiz her about Brangelina adoptions, the Uber price surge in Clapham plus other irrelevant guff and she gives me the skinny on her new boyfriend.

10:00 AM I leave the venue slightly revved up from two free macchiatos we grabbed while Caroline was giving her speech.We spend three minutes leaning against the bonnet for the Getty photo call then Bonnie heads off. Chauffeur Nick warns me traffic’s bad and I’ll be too late to make the Ryan Lo presentation at Sketch. We discuss google maps, the pros and cons of living in London, how Sainburys sells cheaper wine gums than Tesco and I pose for random people circling us with cameras while he brings up a traffic report – disappointed as I wanted a mirror selfie in the Sketch loos but whadda ya do. Instead we drive back to my car and transfer my luggage before heading to my hotel. I still haven’t checked in.

10:30AM I’m booked to stay at The May Fair Hotel – but I’ve accidentally made the reservation for tomorrow and the lady checking me in looks confused… I  catch a glimpse of the concierge who’ve just wheeled in my 4 hefty suitcases and a life size teddy John got me for Valentines (using it as a prop) and decide to stick out the awkward silence in the lobby hoping they can fix it. Two whispered phone calls later the duty manager makes a welcome appearance and assures me I won’t be homeless. We all head up to my junior suite on the second floor in convoy – the hotel have left me a welcome present and bags of ‘fashion week essentials’ but I’ve no time to play with them. I change my outfit, tie my hair up in a ponytail and head back down to the lobby to meet Nick.

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11:15AM We pick up Lissy Roddy. Lissy and I are sharing the G Wag this season; we met two years ago at a Kurt Geiger lunch, I got slightly tipsy, begged her for a pic and admitted I wanted to be her best friend even though we’d only known each other two courses. She climbs into the passenger seat next to me and we exchange a selfie, crack open the wine gums and head straight back to the strand. She’s literally the most calming person on the planet and all of my anxiety from the morning disappears.

12:15 PM I drop Lissy off at the ME for a blogger brunch she’s attending – she invites me in – i go with her to the rooftop restaurant to be nosey – and we arrive to a sea of bloggers we both know and admire. I spot pretty Amy Neville who I haven’t seen properly since we did BAFTA TV together, we do the obligatory photo and then briefly discuss our fatigue with the instagram algorithm and her new contract with Revlon.

12:40 PM Lissy and I grab a quick photo with the G Wag outside before her lunch begins. We sit on the roof this time which immediately draws a crowd and have a ten minute tidal wave of photographers taking our picture. Midway through the shoot, a PR from a brand we’ve both worked with recognises us and we briefly discuss the fact she wants to gift us some free trainers – there’s an awkward pause as I stare at Lissy’s shiny new Gucci’s and her at my Balenciagas before we continue with the shoot. We take a selfie and shoefie to mark the occasion.

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12:50 PM I arrive at Fyodor Golan – I forgot to request a ticket but I clutch Bonnie as I’m walking in and we somehow end up on the FROW – there’s a lot of familiar faces and we spend some time chatting before the show begins. FROW gift is a sticky rainbow covered doughnut which I’ve been sat on for the entire catwalk – FABULOUS.

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1:20 PM Bonnie and I leave the show – raving about the parashoot fabrics and the model who lost her shoe – before I’m ambushed by photographers wanting a pic of THE trainers ‘face for radio‘. I spot freelance Vogue/Elle photographer Dvora and give her a big hug before we decide to do a quick shoot nearby. We both head to my car nattering about her plans for PFW and making plans to meet when we’re both there. Dvora spots the G Wag and suggests I climb on the bonnet again for the shoot. I pose for five or so minutes much to the amusement of people passing through The Strand before agreeing the light isn’t quite right and we decide to shift the car to another location. On the journey I message Lissy and a few bloggers from her event who join us for the reshoot. For the entire shoot I’m thinking about what that doughnut has done to my dress and well food in general. I’m starving. 

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2:00 PM Next show isn’t til five so Nick and I drop Lissy off at the MAC fashion week pop-up on Carnaby Street and leave her to have a pamper while we seek out lunch. I invite my friend/blogger Nicole Ballardini to join us at The Ivy Soho but when we get there it’s fully booked. Instead we drive around Soho for an hour (barely moving) giggling and singing to tunes before settling on takeout from ITSU so we can eat and edit our photos in the comfort of the G Wag. Nick slopes off to replenish the wine-gums.

3:15 PM Lissy has an appointment at ASOS HQ in Camden so I tag along – it’s a gifting suite so were welcomed with prosecco and invited to choose as much from the rails as we want. We both play safe and select three things until the account manager wades in and encourages us to go wild. WE DO.

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4:45 PM The Pam Hogg show starts at 5pm and we’re still comparing tailored culottes in the ASOS suite. We reason as it’s the first day we need to preserve our energy – i check to make sure I’ve done enough to look busy on insta-stories – then we agree it’s best to head back to our hotels and settle in to buji rooms.

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6:00 PM Nick drops me back off at The May Fair Hotel last – I’m feeling like a rockstar as I climb out of my G Wag to a coach load of unsuspecting tourists clearly under the illusion I’m a celebrity – but then I remember I drunk-dialled a shellac mani the night before and the therapist is due in the next hour. I race upstairs to unpack and tidy up while my fella John raids the Sainsburys across the road for snacks and best price wine gums.

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7:20 PM Nail technician is stuck in traffic – John pours me a glass of wine and I engage on social and try to reply to my dm’s.

8:00 PM Nail lady finally mades an appearance but gives me an extra long hand massage and a ferrero rocher so I’m fine.

10:00 PM I have supper in the room and watch some TV with John while answering emails on my laptop. I’ve got to post sponsored instagrams for brands I’m collaborating with so i plan my looks for the forthcoming days and squeeze in some more engaging on social. We roll into bed at midnight  – I set my alarm for 7AM ready to do it all over again.

L x

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also feat.

ASOS stripe kitten heeled mules

ASOS oversized frill sweater in cream

ASOS checked mac

ASOS yellow chunky knit

BALENCIAGA triple-s trainers

GANNI polkadot dress (old but see similar) also (the skirt is still available in black)

Huge thanks to THE MAY FAIR HOTEL for hosting me, MERCEDES BENZ for the luxury G, NICK our caring chauffeur, CND WORLD/MAC for backstage access, LISSY for her generous spirit, NICOLE for keeping me sane and JOHN because I love him and he takes my pics.

PH. J. P. Luxe

All words, styling and thoughts are my own.